Secret Rage

I want to throw my handphone against the wall. I feel like doing that. Yes... I wish i can just throw it really hard against the wall and see it smash to pieces. But i've second thoughts about this. If i throw it, then i won't HAVE a handphone at all! How? Shit. Maybe i can fake that i broke my phone. But no. I don't lie to her. Can't break it at home. Cos then my mom would go crazy at me. I'll break it when i'm outside. I can always tell my mom that some freaked accident happened, blah blah...

I want to get into a fight. I feel so restless. Maybe if i get into a fight, then i can break my phone too. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone. But where can i fight? Who should i fight with? I want to kick and punch and scream at the person. I think that will definitely put my mind at ease. And yes... Throw my phone at the person too.